Pronatalism + Ethics Centre Residency Announcement for New Work: ‘Better She Was Never Born’
I stroll down my leafy street on a sunny December Gadigal day with my Mother. Out of the blue, she asks a question: “Did you not want kids because I was a bad mother?” Her words hit a tender spot, not because she was anything less than excellent, but because my choice is deeply personal. She was a great mum. A brilliant make believer game creator, a heartfelt encourager and offerer of poignant spiritual experiences (of the secular hippy witch variety). Among her legacies to me is a gift for introspection and critical analysis - a trait she now loves and hates in both of her children when it comes to family gatherings/heated debates. Despite distancing myself from certain aspects of my hippy upbringing, I cherish my mother for the parent she was and our adult relationship now. There are countless reasons I hold onto for not having kids, but the only one that truly matters is simple:
I don’t want them.
And that’s a complete sentence.
by Allyson Shwed and Therese Shechter
In responding, I choose compassion and vulnerability over snark, valuing these conversations with her. "Nah Mum, for me, being a parent would be unbearable, and I don’t want to suffer." She answers with a cheeky grin, "Oh, but it’s what women do, we suffer." Together, we laugh at the darkness of this received narrative of womanhood, yet the insidious nature of this assumption lingers.
The decision to have kids or not has felt so hot at times. Despite knowing for ages that parenthood wasn’t for me, I have found myself fascinated with the ethics of parenthood and all the ways we are not prepared to embrace it. How we aren't educated on opting out of it. The way that despite the common saying ‘there is never a right time to have children’ we still feel immense pressure or calling to have them.
The suffix ‘Ism’ - refers to a distinctive practice, system, or philosophy. An ‘oppressive and especially discriminatory attitude or belief’
Pronatalism (also called natalism or the pro-birth position) is an ideology that,
“promotes the reproduction of human life as an important objective of being human and advocates a high birth rate… Natalism promotes child-bearing and parenthood as desirable for social reasons and to ensure the continuance of humanity. Those who adhere to more strict interpretations of natalism may seek to limit access to abortion and contraception, as well”
by Allyson Shwed and Therese Shechter
I am preparing for a residency with the Ethics Centre, delving into the ethics of Pronatalism and the relationship between bodily autonomy and existentialism. The work is currently titled Better She Was Never Born. The goal is to create a piece that supports people in the choice not to have children, connect them with the historical community of non-parents, and offer prompts for a deeper interrogation of what claiming this identity can offer.
Pronatalism is the sea we all swim in, impacting everyone, whether you are a parent or not. During my time at the Ethics Centre, I'll engage with their philosophers and gather stories from local non-parents. This, along with madly writing and devising, will contribute to about 40 minutes of material for a solo work to be presented in a Work in Progress in June. I hope to spotlight people who can get -or are assumed to be able to get- pregnant in this storytelling exploration, building empathy and a place of community for all. I expect sharp agitation and uncomfortable images as I confront the motherhood=woman myth; a many-headed hydra.
by Allyson Shwed and Therese Shechter
If you are a non-parent and would like to share your story, follow me on socials for a call-out for interviews in the coming weeks. I'm keen to listen and incorporate diverse experiences into my work.
I'll be sharing fragments of my writing and creation over the next couple of months, extending my practice as a deviser and writer with short pieces for socials. Please engage by giving a like, leaving a comment, and consider joining the small WiP showing in June (details in May).
Pregnancy, its role as a narrative device, and the bodily autonomy of women have been recurring themes in my work, often leaning towards darker expressions (womanhood = suffering, right mum?). I am excited to cut to the core of my fascination during this residency and open my explorations into a place of communion and empowerment (urg, bloody hippy). I'm looking to extend the fragments of text I currently have, which are wildly different in form and content. Some are quite lyrical, and others are factual anecdotes. I am determined to see if I can make this into a slideshow piece of theatre but also something magical or spiritually sensual— but all subject to change as work begins.
Let's see what happens!
by Allyson Shwed and Therese Shechter
A final note: I am deconstructing my own gender essentialisms as I delve into this work. At times, I find language slippery, resisting its elasticity. As a cis woman, I have marinated in the complexities and assumptions of that label all my life. I joyfully bring this expert viewpoint to these themes while also acknowledging its limitations. Terms like woman and motherhood are the starting point for me, as they were for much of my constructed identity. I look forward to continuing to create safe spaces between and around these terminologies, welcoming the overlapping venn diagram of experiences in a quest to find language that is inclusive and generous.
Read the Ethics Centre Media Release including residency announcements. Peep the cool cats I’m amongst.
Images from ‘Childfree is a Legitimate Choice’ by by Allyson Shwed and Therese Shechter
First published at The Nib on November 20th, 2017
